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This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. Got any tips to help me spice up my solo routine? We have to work. We have to clean our messy houses. We have to cart the kids to school. Roberts, a Victoria-based somatic sex educator. Masturbation is critical, because the one person who you are guaranteed to always be in a relationship with is yourself.
If we are going to have truly fulfilling sex — be that sex with ourselves or sex with others — we need to be able to tune in to our core needs. What is it that you truly desire? What would help your body to feel good? In order to answer these questions, we need to be mindful of ourselves. This is why taking the time to vary your go-to strategy — or to simply tune in to the sensations — is a great way to prioritize pleasure, learn more about what you like and improve partner sex as well.
Here are some fun ways to mix it up. Be more mindful: According to Roberts, a mental drift can occur in masturbation where you get lost in the thoughts of a fantasy or watching something sexy on a screen. How does the water feel as it hits your skin? How does your scalp feel as you wash your hair?
Savour and imprint that pleasure in your body and brain. Give your nervous system the gift of deep, blissful enjoyment. Incorporating mirrors into masturbation itself can be powerful. Roberts likes to sit in a comfortable chair in front of a mirror. The bathroom is a great locale for new techniques. Have a hand-held shower head? Point it at your clitoris. You can achieve the same effect with a simple bath faucet.
Just lie down under it, legs shimmied up the wall on each side, and let the water do its thing. Trans ladies can try massaging the perineum, which can lead to a stellar orgasm thanks to its proximity to the prostate. Roberts suggests massaging your outer and inner labia, introitus the entrance to the vaginaurethra and inguinal crease that sensitive line that starts under your butt and curls around to your hips. Explore light and heavy pressure, tapping, pulling and tickling. Touch tools can be a great addition, like paintbrushes, skin brushes, something fluffy or anything that creates a good slappy sound like a flogger or wooden spoon.
Choose a smaller one that is made out of easy-to-clean silicone and has a flared base spare yourself the embarrassing ER visit! Make sure to apply lube first — this will make it safer, and feel much better. Restock that toy drawer: Having an arsenal of different kinds of sex toys is a great way to keep your sessions fresh and exciting.
Usually use a bullet? Try a more phallic toy. Loyal to your longboi? Try a compact toy in a cute abstract shape. Want to venture inward?
Try incorporating a G-spot toy. Toys come with all kinds of bells and whistles, including apps that control them remotely, dozens of settings rolling! If all else fails, pick up a near-universally loved Magic Wand often called the Hitachi after its copyright holder or the Womanizer sorry about the name, but it has my full screaming endorsement.
Always use a toy? One way to do this is in the middle of partner sex: Just reach down and give yourself a hand, either with your literal hand or your vibe. You might feel nervous at first, but I promise any good partner will be stoked to see you enjoying yourself.
It can feel a bit vulnerable to bust out your favourite vibrator in front of a partner, so try picking out a new toy together. Once your partner sees how you like to use it, you can start having them use the toy on you, too. If you feel shy about making yourself come in front of someone, turn the lights down and put on some music to set you at ease and drown out a noisy vibrator. Copyright owned or d by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited. All rights reserved. To order copies of Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.
Briony Smith is a Toronto-based freelance contributing columnist for The Kit. She writes about sex and culture. Reach her via : sextalk thekit. Report an error. Journalistic Standards.
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Self-Love Spring: 7 Ways To Spice Up Your Solo Sex Time